


sage

by LordRichard



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Implied Death/talking to dead people, M/M, Other, Slice of Life, changkyun visits the grave of his parents, non graphic loss of parents, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 04:55:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19143982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordRichard/pseuds/LordRichard
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING -deals with death / dead characters / surrounds around death relatives / talking to dead people~changkyun has a lot to tell when he visits his parents' grave again after a while~





	sage

**Author's Note:**

> i made myself sad and happy with this
> 
> please don’t proceed to read it if dealing with death and dead relatives triggers you somehow i don’t want to hurt anybody with this

changkyun smiles as he looks down to the small grave. it’s covered with flower bouquets and in front of the small stone gravestone stand two ceramic figures, a woman and a man with angel wings.

he crouches and picks out the withered flowers and places the new ones he brought. 

when he’s finished he sits down, intertwines his fingers and closes his eyes, looking up into the sky. his lips move in a silent prayer. he opens his eyes again and smiles lugubriously at the curved letters on the grave.

“hey mom, hey dad”, he begins. “it’s been a while, i’m sorry, a lot had been going down. how are you? already getting closer with your neighbours? sorry”, he bites his lip and lowers his gaze. “i know you’ve never been good at socialising with others.”  
he chuckles to himself and focuses back on the grave.

“you won’t believe it but i’m on the best way to become a professor in the next months. your little science freak is going to teach other young science freaks the big mysteries of our existence soon.” he smiles proudly at the font, thinking about when he used to dissect and explore everything he’d find in their backyard and how proud his parents had been of him when he’d repaired their nightstand lamp all by himself.

“are you listening, dad? i’m gonna make double the money i did before!” he laughs. “this had always been your goal...but i guess it was my turn to become one of the elites in our land, right? don’t worry, i’ll make you proud.”

he plucks out a brown and dry petal of one of the sages, his mom’s favourite flowers.

“you know that everytime i’m sick and drink tea i think of you, mom? sage, of course. you’d try to heal a broken bone with sage, wouldn’t you? oh wait, you actually did.”

changkyun was 14 when a car hit him on his way to school by bike. it was a thursday and he missed biology. his dad had to tell him everything about epigenetics he knew when he came home that day. everyone hated him the next lessons when he basically explained everything the teacher had planned to do but it was worth it. his arm and leg healed in a flash and he was ready to fall down a tree he tried to climb a few months later, who knows what role the sage-tea played in the healing process.

“apropos money, i’m gonna need that. kihyun and i are gonna adopt a child from the orphanage soon. we’re still in the test phase but it’s looking good for us.” he smiles when he thinks of the small child. “they’re so adorable, you’d love them.”

suddenly his smile falters a little.

“i’m sorry you didn’t have the chance to meet your grandchild. and that you won’t have any biological descendants but they’re so lovely and we think it’s wonderful to give an orphan a home and a family. they seemed so sad and lonely at the orphanage...but we’re gonna do everything to make them happy.” he sighs blissfully when he remembers how cute and bubbly the little creature had been when they went on trips together.

“their name is alex by the way, isn’t that a beautiful name?” 

raising his gaze into the sky changkyun sighs again with a smile on his lips. “i’m gonna be a father soon…” a single tear runs down his cheek when he looks back to the gravestone. “and kihyun will be the other one.”

his mind goes back to when he’d sat at the exact same place for the first time and finally came out to the remains of his beloved parents.  
he was crying and shaking, he still blames himself for never telling them when they were alive. he’d never know they’re reaction though it was maybe better that way. what if they didn’t accept him? he didn’t want to waste a thought on that.

it felt like an eternity ago and at the same time as if it happened yesterday.  
though so much had happened.

he’d never forget the day when he and kihyun had finally married after being together for what felt like half their life’s.  
it was the first and only time kihyun had visited changkyun’s parents grave. almost no one ever did besides changkyun. in tears and with intertwined hands with kihyun he’d told them that he was married now. they both had cried a lot that day but for changkyun that was one of the most emotional parts. kihyun had held him while they stained their pretty suits with tears and changkyun overheard how kihyun whispered “i will take good care of him, don’t worry” to the decorated grave.

“he’s been cooking a lot of your receipts lately, mom. of course they can never be as good as yours but that doesn’t matter and you know, his meals always have that mom-taste. also, his photo studio is doing well right now, he gets a lot of jobs. i’m so glad we can both live our dream...”

he remains silent for a while, delighting in memories.

“jooheon has signed with a label now! can you imagine that dad, jooheon! he really did it. he really did…”

changkyun plays with his fingers, biting his lip. “kihyun is gonna pick me up soon and we’ll go to our yoga class together. yeah, we’re doing that now. i know you’d say how gay that is of us, dad.” he smiles to himself and takes a deep breath. “hyung called me last week. the sage is from him, by the way.”

i’m thinking of you.

“he misses you two. and he tries to visit us as soon as possible but he is very busy. you know that already but he has three kids now, isn’t that amazing? three! i don’t know if kihyun and i even want that much...it’s a lot. hopefully we’ll be able to manage one…”

a sad smile passes his face and he brushes a few leaves from the gravestone as he continues.

“i won’t be able to visit you that much anymore. since i’m gonna be teaching and so on and hopefully have a child soon i won’t have much free time anymore. you’ll get along without me, right? i mean you have each other.”

his heart feels heavy when he puts his hands together and closes his eyes for a last prayer.  
when he opens them again a tear runs down his cheek.

“i love you, mom and dad. you’ll always be with me in my heart, no matter where i am. or where you are.”

and with those last words he gets up and gives the beautiful and peaceful looking grave one last smile before he turns around and heads towards the exit of the graveyard where a wonderful husband is waiting for him as the church bells sound softly through the quiet and innocent scenery.

**Author's Note:**

> i thought a lot about my grandpa while writing this...i love and miss you ♡


End file.
